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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Fast forward to the evening, and I’m at the festival. The vibe is electric! People dancing, laughing, and the smell of grilled sardines fills the air. I grab a plate, and let me tell you, it’s heavenly. I’m stuffing my face, and Tiago’s trying to take a selfie. I’m like, “Dude, not while I’m eating!” But he snaps it anyway. Classic Tiago.

Sluggish sales leave Portugal’s iconic wine producers grappling with sour grapes